Comfort or torment: Should we use virtual reality to see departed loved ones?

Imagine using virtual reality (VR) to communicate, see, and hear from a loved one who has passed away. It sounds like something from a science fiction movie, but this technology is increasingly becoming a reality. Virtual reality (VR) is currently being utilised to imitate the appearance of the departed, providing a means of memory preservation and even participatory encounters.

However, does this ease the bereaved or run the risk of escalating their suffering? There is a great deal of disagreement, and there is ongoing discussion on the psychological effects of these experiences.

The Rise of VR in Mourning

Digital avatars that mimic conversations with the departed have been created thanks to developments in artificial intelligence and virtual reality. Businesses like HereAfter AI and Eternime employ images, videos, and social media data to generate lifelike synthetic copies. A documentary in 2020 about a heartbroken mother using virtual reality to “reunite” with her departed daughter brought attention to South Korea. The touching experience brought up significant issues regarding the moral and psychological fallout from this kind of technology.

In the documentary, Nayeon, Jang Ji-sung’s seven-year-old daughter, who passed away in 2016, was able to be touched and spoken to virtually. While the mother described the experience as a “miracle,” critics worry that it may deepen her grief. “For me, it’s like a paradise,” Jang said, “but for others, it may be too painful.”

The Comforting Side of Technology

According to some psychologists, virtual reality (VR) might give bereaved individuals a therapeutic outlet. Professor Carla Sofka of Siena College, who specialises in grief research in the digital age, proposes that virtual reality can be a useful “transitional tool” for bereaved individuals.”For some people, especially those who did not have the chance to say goodbye, being able to see and interact with a digital version of their loved one could offer closure,” she explained in an interview.

VR might also offer comfort in situations where traditional rituals like funerals are inaccessible due to global events like the COVID-19 pandemic. “In times of social isolation, being able to interact virtually could serve as a form of companionship,” Sofka adds.

Torment and Emotional Risks

However, not everyone thinks virtual reality is a good way to cope. Dr. Julie Shaw, a grief counselor and clinical psychologist who has researched the effects of technology on the grieving process. She warns about the psychological risks of using virtual reality to reconnect with deceased loved ones.

“While the idea of ‘seeing’ or ‘interacting’ with a lost loved one through technology may initially bring comfort, it can ultimately disrupt the natural grieving process. Prolonged attachment to a virtual version of the deceased can create a sense of denial, where the mourner struggles to accept the finality of the loss,” Shaw explains. “Grief is about moving forward and learning to live with the absence, not recreating presence.”

Her take aligns with other grief experts who argue that technology should facilitate healing, not prolong emotional dependency. Shaw suggests that virtual experiences should be used cautiously, if at all, during grief therapy. “A brief encounter might provide a sense of closure, but repeated interactions could lead to emotional stagnation and prevent individuals from adapting to life after loss.”

Cultural Perspectives on Mourning

People’s reactions to the concept of seeing loved ones in virtual reality are also influenced by cultural perspectives on death and bereavement. Certain communities place more value on maintaining relationships with the departed, while others prioritise finding closure and moving on. Dr. Tony Walter, a sociologist at the University of Bath who specialises in death and bereavement, suggests that reactions to VR could vary greatly. “In cultures where ongoing relationships with the deceased are seen as normal and healthy, virtual encounters may be comforting. But in Western societies, where there’s a focus on ‘getting over it,’ such experiences could be seen as morbid or unhealthy,” Walter says.

Ethical Considerations

Beyond the emotional implications, there are also ethical questions to consider. How much data should we allow companies to collect to create these digital avatars? And is it ethical to digitally “resurrect” someone who cannot give their consent? As Dr. Sarah Jones, a researcher at the Birmingham City University specializing in immersive storytelling, explains, “The boundaries of privacy and consent are blurred when we’re talking about recreating someone who is no longer here to make decisions. There’s a real risk of exploitation, especially when it comes to commercializing these technologies.”

A Personal Choice?

There is a thin line between comfort and agony when using virtual reality to communicate with lost loved ones. It may provide a chance to relive special moments or bring closure to some, but it may also stop the grieving process from moving forward naturally for others. Experts on both sides concur that there isn’t a solution that works for everyone. The wider adoption of this technology will not stop debates about its ethical, cultural, and emotional ramifications.

Ultimately, the choice to use VR in this way is a deeply personal one. As Dr. Carla Sofka puts it, “We need to be careful about how we use this technology. It has the potential to be incredibly healing for some people but equally damaging for others. The key is to know when it’s time to hold on and when it’s time to let go.”